omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!
guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just
I ship it
I ship it hardThe feels
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"
- On the internet: Ugh I hate people so much
- Applying for a job: I love working with people and I'm very sociable
I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since there’s no difference between yes and no and that’s the story of how I gave someone a bloody nose
Can We All Just Applaud This Person?
"March 4th, the only day that is also a sentence."
short list of actors who have not won an oscar:
- james dean
- johnny depp
- brad pitt
- helena bonham carter
- robert downey jr
- glenn close
- will smith
- samuel l jackson
- liam neeson
- sigourney weaver
- tom cruise
- julianne moore
- ralph fiennes
- laura linney
- ed harris
- gary oldman
now will you please for the love of christ shut up about leonardo dicaprio
I want a remote that makes people shut the fuck up with the click of a button
this has too many notes to be safe